


Not Alone

by mmmdraco



Series: Sterek Week 2014 [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, RIP Allison Argent, Sterek Week, anniversary of a death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-30
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-02-06 19:44:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1870065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You said that you asked Scott and Lydia, right?" Derek took a swig of water as he sat against the wall in the loft, looking up at Stiles.</p><p>Nodding, Stiles pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his backpack and took a cautious sip while sinking to the floor next to Derek. "They both wanted to do their own thing. I... I needed to be around someone. Someone who understood."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Alone

"You said that you asked Scott and Lydia, right?" Derek took a swig of water as he sat against the wall in the loft, looking up at Stiles.

Nodding, Stiles pulled out a bottle of whiskey from his backpack and took a cautious sip while sinking to the floor next to Derek. "They both wanted to do their own thing. I... I needed to be around someone. Someone who understood."

Derek pulled his knees up to his chest, shrugging slightly. "You didn't kill Allison. It's been a year. You have to know that by now."

"Yeah, that's..." Stiles shook hs head. "That's not how it feels. I remember having the thought that made her die, okay? A year later and it's as fresh in my head as driving over here. I was still... him then, though. Everybody else got to cry right away and I couldn't even process it as me. The sadness that I felt wasn't enough to overcome the demon inside me and I still feel like I haven't really..."

Nudging Stiles' arm, Derek said softly, "You know about Paige. But, do you blame me for killing her?"

Stiles looked up sharply, shaking his head. "No. I mean, yeah, you killed her... but you did it out of mercy. I mean, she was going to die anyway."

"Even though I was the one who went forward with wanting to turn her?" Derek grabbed the bottle of whiskey from Stiles, taking a quick swig as the memories flooded his consciousness.

"It was Peter's idea, though. He manipulated you!" Stiles grabbed the whiskey back, hugging it against his chest.

Derek sucked in a deep breath, his eyes closing. "If you don't blame me for letting myself get manipulated into making a choice, how can you blame yourself for something you had no actual choice in?" He opened his eyes again, looking over at Stiles. "Blame the bug that's in France in a jar made from the Nemeton. Blame Kira's mother for unleashing that. But don't... Don't blame yourself. Allison chose that fight. She sacrificed herself. From what Scott told me, he couldn't take her pain at the end. That sort of death only comes when your brain floods with the right kind of endorphins, so she must have accepted it easily."

Stiles capped the whiskey and placed it on the floor. "You suck at getting drunk and trying to forget problems, dude. World's worst. How am I supposed to wake up in a pool of my own vomit when you actually make me feel better?" He kicked a foot over to nudge against Derek's shin. "You were also the world's worst about getting manipulated as a teenager. I'm glad you grew up into this Derek. This Derek is surprisingly good to have around."

"You're surprisingly good at a lot of things, Stiles. Forgiving yourself is not one of those things. You can do better." 

"So can you." Stiles shrugged and let his head hang forward. "Do you think... Could you maybe just hold me for a little while? Is that took much to ask for?"

Derek scooted closer to Stiles, wrapping him up in his arms tightly. "No. It's not." He paused, letting his fingers dig into Stiles' shoulders as Stiles trembled. "For you, it never will be."


End file.
